spidertime | (no subject)

TG: fuck i think i preferred it when you were implying that i wanted to get down and nasty with karkat
TG: can we back the truck up
TG: i could give you some more meat as well
TG: oh look there i already did it
TG: karkat = red = meat = edible = i want his bone
TG: there go work off that
TG: unless theres something that youd actually like to talk about that isnt excruciating
TG: youd better appreciate how much i like you to be keeping up with this

TT: You just make it so easy, even when you aren't intentionally handing me these things on a silver platter.
TT: If you'll allow me a small moment to be serious, though, I'm glad you are. And not just because you are so pleasantly fun to torment.
TT: It has been a long time since we've just bantered like this, even though we don't have a whole lot of options, these day.
TT: I missed it.

TT: Out of respect for you oncoming birthday, I'll let the matter drop and attempt to have rational conversation.
TT: Which is something that I hear normal people have quite often.
TT: How has it been between you and Terezi? I hear from her even less than I hear from you, these days.

TG: yeah
TG: okay
TG: sure
TG: cool
TG: but yeah i guess ive missed stuff
TG: some of which could be you
TG: might not be
TG: could be other things
TG: mcdonalds and civilization

TG: we should talk more
TG: set up a conversation date
TG: ensure things are maintained
TG: get out the hoe and tend that garden
TG: (another gift youd better be finding me a white beard because im going full santa)

TG: yeah im wondering if shes even got a radio to be projecting the radio silence onto me
TG: shes busy or something
TG: can town is falling into disarray the citizens are going to start a revolt soon
TG: its a tragedy

TT: Why, Mr. Strider. That was very nearly a display of genuine feelings, wasn't it?
TT: Astounding. This is a real breakthrough!
TT: We will certainly have to discuss this further on our little "conversation date," as you so generously put it.
TT: When would be a convenient time for you? I'll have to clear a space in my schedule, just for you. Free time is so difficult to come by these days, after all.

TT: So the Mayor himself is no longer enough to keep order, I assume?
TT: I'm not surprised. He doesn't seem the type to be particularly hard on crime.
TT: Without Ms. Pyrope around to hang anyone who so much as jaywalks, the criminal element would no doubt be emboldened to commit greater and more devastating crimes.
TT: Armed revolution is the only eventuality. I'm sorry.

TG: sorry rose
TG: just as soon as you said feelings i got crushed under a pile of Urgent Shit
TG: going to take at least a month to shake free
TG: go on without me rose
TG: make friends
TG: live free

TG: yeah the mayors doing the best he can and im keeping cultural stimulation up
TG: but its only a matter of time before those poor cans lose what little they have
TG: they built it up from nothing but its all going to be gone
TG: im gonna make myself cry if this keeps up

TT: Oh, don't be such a baby! This is a good thing.
TT: If unnatural and vaguely terrifying.
TT: This conversation date is far more important than the most Urgent Shit you could possibly dream up.
TT: We're doing this, Strider. We're making this happen.
TT: The happening is an incontrovertible fact.
TT: Now let's set a time.

TT: A tragedy for the ages.
TT: I should write a book on the subject.
TT: Executions, Puppets, And Democracy: The Rise and Fall of Paradox Space's Greatest City-State.
TT: Kanaya can write the foreword. Karkat can guest-author an essay about his romantic encounters with Can Town's Chief Minister of Getting Down.
TT: It'll be a bestseller, you wait.

TG: only because you just used my own work to flatter me
TG: idk how does tomorrow sound
TG: i can get washing my hair and looking pretty all out of the way
TG: be the best me i can be for you

TG: im putting down a preorder for seven
TG: and a ticket to you telling karkat that
TG: dudes going to burn down the city
TG: the townscans weep

TT: Tomorrow would be wonderful.
TT: We'll meet in the library, if you think you can find your way there on your own.
TT: If not, I'd be more than happy to draw you a map.
TT: Unless there happens to be something in particular that you'd like to accomplish, we can take it from there.

TT: Washing your hair?
TT: This is a breakthrough. I'll be sure to swoon appropriately when I see it.

TT: Karkat will be more than happy to contribute.
TT: The man's never missed an opportunity to rant about anything relating to one quadrant or another.
TT: All I'd have to do is set up a tape recorder and mention the subject offhand, and I'd have enough material for an encyclopedia on the subject.

TG: nah figured we could play it fast and loose
TG: they have b-ball hoops in libraries right

TG: youd better wash yours too
TG: im not getting all degreased to be outshone by a girl who is less hygienic than me

TG: okay heres an idea
TG: you make that encyclopedia and then well shove a sock in his mouth and never listen to him again
TG: rock solid attack strategy
TG: hell never see it coming and then well be be free of karkat related pain forever

TT: I'm surprised you even know what a "b-ball hoop" is at this point.
TT: But yes, they generally do.
TT: Along with baseball goals, soccer diamonds, and tennis fields.
TT: A marvelous day of sports-themed idiocy awaits.

TT: I wash my hair every day, Strider. I know the concept must be utterly shocking, but it's true.
TT: Some of us have appearances to maintain.

TT: Counterpoint: He'd swallow the sock just as he did your mouse.
TT: We would be free of nothing, unfortunately.
TT: We would only make him more powerful than we could possibly imagine.

TG: course i know what a b-ball hoop is
TG: who the fuck doesnt know what a bowls hoop is
TG: you shove em in the floorboards and score tries not rocket surgery

TG: im going to pretend you didnt just imply that i dont maintain my level of artful dissarray to a t
TG: just think we should look our best for each other

TG: fuck i didnt think of that
TG: reckon we could use him to get rid of anything we dont want
TG: shout n swear garbage disposal

TT: Precisely.
TT: A strike-in-one.
TT: That is exactly what a bowls hoop is, and don't let anybody else tell you different.

TT: So that's where all the hair stuff has been going. I can barely alchemize it fast enough before it disappears.
TT: And here I thought it was Kanaya's doing.
TT: Don't worry. I appreciate the thought, and I'll do my best to reciprocate.
TT: Looking one's best is an important component of any conversation date.

TT: We could use him as renewable energy.
TT: Keep him fed through trash and unwanted crap.
TT: His tantrums could power this meteor all by their lonesome.

TG: damn straight
TG: going to hit all the birdies

TG: now youre getting it
TG: meteor wont know what hit it with us doing our thing

TG: shit weve cracked it
TG: call everyone lets have a meeting
TG: get us there like
TG: two minutes faster
TG: two twenty if were lucky
TG: karkats going to be our gold at the end of the rainbow now weve found his one true purpose

TT: Those two minutes could make all the difference.
TT: I'm sure Karkat would be more than happy to assist, I'm sure. For the good of the mission.
TT: And if he's not, well, that might shave a millisecond or two off of our time.
TT: Which is more than worth the aggravation, don't you think?
TT: I'll call everyone and inform them immediately.

TT: If we make the room that will harness his tantrums soundproof, then I could present peace and quiet as another gift for your birthday.
TT: It seems that you're just rolling in them.

TG: ill shake him down and rough him up old school style challenge him to a pokeshowdown and everything
TG: teach him that lesson real good

TG: but holy fucking hallelujah you do that and ill kiss you
TG: on the mouth and everything
TG: id forgotten what silence sounds like
TG: so much that the point of silence is that it doesnt sound like anything slipped my mind

There is a noticeable pause before the response comes.

TT: Easy, Strider.
TT: As tempting as your lascivious offer is, god only knows where those lips of yours have been. Let's keep my reward strictly platonic.
TT: A kiss on the cheek, as from the dainty prince being rescued by his knight in shining armor, at the very outermost.
TT: That should elicit a minimum of jealousy from our respective partners, I think.
TT: And a minimum of disgust and regret on both our parts.

TT: It's surprising how difficult silence is to come by on this asteroid, all things considered.
TT: Doubly so if you consider the omnipresent lifeless hum of the abandoned machinery.
TT: Not that it's entirely unpleasant. But sometimes it can grow a little tiresome.

Does his heart sink just a bit with every second she waits? Yeah.

It does.

Self pity 101 with Dave Strider.

TG: just so long as you know the offers there
TG: wouldnt want you to think you were being slighted when i sweep by to peck your cheek and avoid all black lipstick in the vicinity

TG: i know what you mean its just fine right up until it would be quiet back home and the entire place sounds like it's going to destruct
TG: not like its louder than before its just all up and tapping on your skull when theres nothing else going on

Another agonizing pause.

TT: I'll make sure to remember that next time my brother neglects to go full-tongue when he kisses me.
TT: No offense will be taken, I assure you.

TT: I recall that on the first night that we slept here, I could hear a faint beeping from one of the laboratories. I was more than a little afraid that there was something catastrophically wrong, but in the end, it turned out to be little more than a glorified "low battery" warning.
TT: I've mostly grown used to the background noise, these days, though I do miss true silence now and then. I was quite accustomed to it, back home.

She has to do that on purpose. She's too Rose to do anything by accident.

TG: never even mentioned slippery food muscle business
TG: thats what trolls call tongues right
TG: anyway this is the point where i pretend to be you and read way too much into what the inclusion of tongue to the conversation means
TG: only unfortunate thing is that makes me a doctor and brings up all sorts of references i dont want to make

Well, joking or not, this conversation has certainly taken a turn that makes her more than a little uncomfortable.

But he can't know that.

TT: Writhing speak organs?
TT: Slimy taste muscles?
TT: Lashing scream artifices?
TT: Something equally silly, I'm sure.

TT: No, you have me intrigued.
TT: References you don't want to make?
TT: Is that the sweet, savory scent of fear that I detect, Mr. Strider?

TG: gotta be lashing scream artifices
TG: sillier something is more likely it is to come out of a trolls mouth

TG: look all im saying is that id rather people try to find a texan accent than a pompus brittish one

The next day, Rose stands alone in her bedroom, picking through a messy pile of discarded fabric, crumpled shirts, and the occasional technicolor bra.

Conversation date. He would have called it a date, wouldn't he? As though she hadn't spent a good portion of the last two months trying her very best to disassociate him with the concept in her mind. He's with Terezi, now. And she's with Kanaya. Happy with Kanaya, and not a mere false happiness raised as a shield to distract herself for the thoughts thay still bother her to this day. Even if she has found herself mixing alcoholic beverages in the lab on more than one occasion to take her mind off things, she genuinely cares for the troll.

Dwelling on her feelings for the guy who she'd long since learned to be her ectobiological brother could do nothing but ruin the tenuous happiness she's managed to construct for herself.

That doesn't stop her from overthinking the absolute hell out of this conversation date, of course. And three outfit changes - including a brief hunt for her formal dress before thinking about what sort of message that might send - and two showers later, she realizes that she's made herself uncharacteristically late. There wasn't any time to think it through anymore, and in the end, she chooses an outfit that she'd hardly thought about wearing since their journey had begun. A simple black skirt, along with her old faithful modified Squiddle t-shirt.

She doesn't bother running or texting Dave to warn him that she'll be late. That would be admitting defeat. She'd stroll in, head held high, as of nothing is wrong.

As if she doesn't miss him quite as much as she actually does.

Rose might have spent her time primping and taking showers, and sure, Dave built that in too, but for the most part his preparation for what is probably his most stupid idea of all time consists of pacing, checking the time on his phone, and pacing some more. Every ten minutes he removes his tie and then every five he puts it back on. Wearing a suit for this is weird. But he can put it down to a joke, a bit of fun. The tie though, is a problem.

He doesn't even need to check his phone to know the time. Routines stick hard even when you're a time god. He's still got a fucking hour to go.

He holds out another twenty minutes before high tailing it to the library, he figures he can find something to read for one; puzzle the shit out of that Alternian.

When Rose finally arrives Dave is surprisingly entrenched in a book of Alternian poetry, phone in one hand with the alphabet translation up, it's slow progress but he's managed to squeeze a trickle of enjoyment from it. He's absently fiddling with the tie he left on so it's loose and sloppy, turns out a distraction does wonders for shooting that worry to pieces.

Rose pauses outside the entrance, taking a moment to collect herself before she enters. Dave probably wouldn't even be in there. He'd probably have figured that she just wasn't going to show up and left. Or maybe he hasn't arrived yet. Taking "fashionably late" to a whole new ironic extreme. Whatever the case may be, though, she can hardly go meet him with her heart attempting to bludgeon it's way from her chest. 'This is stupid' writ large in great, blinking letters ten feet wide. One deep breath. Two. And...

She steps inside and oh motherfucker. He's wearing a suit. He always did look ridiculously sharp in a suit, and the fact that his tie is unkempt hardly ruins the effect. She's got her gameface on, though, and she is most certainly not going to let it bother her. "Well, Mr. Strider, it seems that it's my turn to come underdressed to a date." Much as the phrasing he'd chosen still eats away at her, she's going to milk it for all it's worth. "You might have warned me. Kanaya's been hard at work, making me beautiful new dresses. I would have put more effort into my appearance, had I known."

He starts at her voice, and fumbles to catch his phone from the air where he flung it. In a totally controlled manner. His hands close around it and he tucks it into his pocket. He might be a little on edge but when the fuck did she turn into a ninja? Not having Bro around has let him get soft.

"Hey, couldn't look anything but my best for my sis, could I?" He snaps the book closed and puts it down on the chair as he stands. "And it's been getting lonely on its hanger, the zipper makes this sad face and it just breaks my heart to see." It's nice to see her though.

Wait. Why did he stand up. Damn it. He gestures to the other seat, "I heard a rumour that conversation's better when you sit. It could be a lie but I figure it wouldn't hurt to give it a go." A conversation date is sounding more stupid by the second. But it's still nice to see her.